Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize