So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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