the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
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just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
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Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.