I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can