Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...