never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
