my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
