good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
