Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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