Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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