I accidentally burped into my bong.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
