based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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