Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Last time i carry you out of a forest
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
