You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
