omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Randomize