I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
