even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
