it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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