She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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