I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
