we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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