so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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