Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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