She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
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All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
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Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
These tits shall not be calmed