a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
It's just like the Real World with babies
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian