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That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
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