Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
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And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
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Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?