I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.