community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?