Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.