She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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