You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
