Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
