it wasn't lemon gatorade
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
