don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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