my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
