Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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