Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
