just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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