MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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