she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
