All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
