Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Sext me about skeletons
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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