Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize