the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
