jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
