Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
