:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
