Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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