when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
