if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Please, let me fuck your mom
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You ate ashes out of my bong
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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