I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
