I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
