His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i out mim tonsoeep
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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