the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
