Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
