sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
