ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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