The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
