Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
