i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40s are totally the cure
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize