Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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