You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
