Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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