The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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