I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
