He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
