I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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