I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
