I like to think it a success when the cops are called
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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