So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
