I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
