Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
