forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
you made out with another girl for some wings
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
