I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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