Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
