i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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