You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
