just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
