I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize