This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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