after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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