i just google imaged poop.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
